I am beyond exhausted. I haven’t slept for over 27 hours or so. I’m having such a hard time sleeping these days. Even as physically “shattered” as I am, I have no desire to abandon my consciousness. I’ve got so many things on my mind competing with my internal tour de force cynicism and pessimism arguing me every step of the way.

I went out today with Taint, Tivi, Flipmax, and Tivi’s niece to go see Cirque De Soleil Alegria and am once again convinced I will die a hermit. Every time I leave the house nowadays, I almost immediately have this strong desire to come running back and crawling under my meta blanket. It’s such an exhausting world out there trying to pretend you’re not interested in it…because that would REALLY make you apparently abnormal.

I’ve lost my lust for life I guess or maybe I’m just so damn tired I can’t care? Anyhow, the show was okay, nothing like the time I saw Cirque De Ingénue at a concert hall. It was one of the most memorable performances I’ve ever seen. I think nowadays they have modularized their shows in order to have wider distribution of the act. It’s more like a child’s circus now than a beautiful, magical journey into the world of dreams. One group of people sitting in our row didn’t bother coming back after the intermission. It was definitely NOT worth the $85 dollars spent.

I have a final bit to do tonight that I’ve been excited to releasing since Thursday. I just hope I can get it out before I collapse.