I am there. I am here. I have been here for so long. I’m accessible. You can read me, see me, hear me, reach me whenever you want. It’s almost impossible for me to hide.

But you, you’re out there and I’ve got to do all the work. I have to dig, I have to search, and break my nails scratching. You think this is a fair relationship? It’s not. Pieces of me are scattered everywhere. I’m exposed.

It’s not fair to pretend like we’re on even ground. Friendships and relationships don’t get to just happen when it’s convenient for you, when you decide you need pieces of my soul.

So much of me over the years has wanted to lock it all up so you don’t get the advantage every time. So that I’m not so predictable and easy to read…so that you can’t use my weaknesses against me. It’s really not fair.

I feel like I’m the only one standing here naked and I don’t know why I just don’t cover up and go back inside.